We had so much anger there wasn't room for much else.By the third session we were able to listen without attacking, though the anger bubbled just below the surface.Andrea played a short film for us about nothing that had to do with us or our relationship. Then she gave us each a pad and pencil and asked us to write down ten facts about what we'd seen in the film.It was easier for me. I was trained. When we finished, I read my list."That's amazing," said Andrea. "I've never seen anyone do that so well. Your first six were facts, then a conclusion citing the facts, two more facts and a final conclusion. Let's see what you have, Betty."Somewhere in the middle Betty stumbled onto a fact, an observation of what we had seen. As we went over her list, Andrea explained."Most of what you wrote was an interpretation of what you saw based not only on the facts, but on your view of how things work in the world. To put it in terms of the experience in your marriage, you noticed you weren't. I was watching bottoms.When I found her in the lobby Darlene was with her friend, Amanda, with whom she was rooming at the convention. Because of cost cutting at our local associations, I also had a roommate, so the odds of anything happening this weekend was remote. Amanda and Darlene were quite a pair, full of energy and seemed to enjoy flirting with a harmless older guy. Amanda was full figured with huge boobs and a quick smile. She was also married and the two lived near each other and had been long time friends. Just like me, both had become more active in the association and I learned that we'd all be attending meetings throughout the year. "Well," I thought, "if nothing else, at least attending those meetings will be a lot more fun..."So, the evening was fun, the flirting intense, but around midnight I headed back to my room with a beer buzz and a semi-hardon only to find my snoring roommate. Not the picture I'd had in mind as I anticipated dinner!The conference was scheduled.
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