Mulhouse, petition for divorce on the basis of irreconcilable differences. Counter petition by defendant on the basis of marital infidelity,” the bailiff announced just as we entered the courtroom.“Your Honor, I object!” I deliberately called attention to myself now, along with my naked crew.“Whoever you are, you are out of order, both as to the process and as to your state of undress. Leave immediately or I will hold you in contempt of court!” the trial judge snapped at me while gaveling to regain control of the court in vain.“Oh, but haven’t you earned that contempt, Your Dishonor? For isn’t it very dishonorable to award such a huge portion of a man’s hard-earned savings to his ex, just because she happens to be a woman? Why is that when a man cheats, he’s at fault, but when a woman cheats, he’s still at fault? For a system labeled ‘no-fault,’ it sure doesn’t behave like one. The man is always given the shaft, regardless of blame.“On the other hand, Mr. Mulhouse, divorce isn’t. In addition, we have a great sex life. With the kids, of course, it’s certainly less frequent than before they were born, but it’s still good. We fuck a few times a week. Occasionally we do other stuff, too. As I mentioned, I’m not unhappy. It’s just that I sometimes think about a woman I used to know who was the perfect woman, the most incredible, as in hard-to-believe, amazing woman. Although, I guess that’s not true or we’d be together, right? Yet, she was the perfect woman in so many ways. Her name was Simone and I met her when I was 27 and working at a large management consulting and accounting firm. I was working during the day towards my CPA and going to school nights and weekends to get my MBA. It didn’t leave much time for anything else. One day, though, I saw this vision at the gym and it changed my life, changed it forever. The urban-suburban area where I lived was not that close to work, but I rented a sweet apartment, my gym was a block away, and it was convenient to.
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