I read alot, though, because that was a form of escapism. And Fictionamaniasimply saved my life. I read for days, learned English and got the warmfeeling of not being alone in the struggle.It was out of desperation that I discovered that my effeminate soulcould offer some practical gifts. For many years I tried to reject andsuppress everything that seemed unmanly, including my feelings. Iwanted to cry, often, like a girl. Or giggle happily, as girls do. Ilearned to suppress my emotions by holding my breath and pretending Idid not care. Only later in life did I discover that this part of me isalso a power. I am an empath, a powerful empath. As this part of mematured, it is enabled me to read people's emotions, even the hiddenones. Once I was sitting on a suburban train admiring a beautiful girlmy age in front of me. She was dozing, oblivious to my staring at her,and I felt safe, for it is nothing unusual for a boy to admire a girl.But my admiration was different.I did not imagine. Fear had a way of making people shy of change. He assumed that Rollover and Huntress had been adversaries for many years.Huntress shot back, “You are as human as I am Rollover, I have the records. You are the tenth daughter in the line of a first-born female the same as I am, so don’t give me that shit about being too human. Most of the first-born females in this room are at least four generations direct.”“If it weren’t for the fact that our fathers were not Dogs we would have suffered the disabilities of inbreeding and reverting to Canine as many of our brothers and sisters have. How many of those present have given birth to a female Dog that is a first-born of one of our male Dogs in the last twenty-five years?” she asked and looked around the crowded room.“None, that is how many. Most of you have not even had female puppies to our males. Even worse, most of you have not even been pregnant to one of our males even though I know you have been trying. That includes you Rollover. You.
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