He treated people as objects to use and didn't give a damn who was hurt, used, or annoyed in the process. He felt he was the sun, the chosen son, around whom all the world had an obligation to rotate.He began feeling uncomfortable with his identity, with his whiteness, with the advent of interracial porn. Initially, he was outraged and angered by Black men and their enormous cocks fucking white women. He would watch in disgust at the videos of men endowed with equipment that made his tiny penis look infantile in comparison and seethe in anger, proclaiming how he hated Black men for being lazy, ignorant, criminal, and nothing more than savages. Of course, all that internal dialogue was drowned out while he was masturbating furiously for hours on end to image after image of white women screaming in pleasure and pain while having the sex of their lives with Black men. He would go to Black blogs and forums and protest that size didn't matter and Black men did not, in fact, have bigger. “See what I mean?”The three girls came back into the house. They sat at the table while Rob and I finished our coffee. Paula told Clair and Tim to behave and do what they were told to do while they were away. Tim nodded, got up, and went to get his things.Rob, Tim, and I loaded everything into the truck and trailer. I knew we’d have more after stopping at the sporting goods store.We went back to the house to tell Paula goodbye. Paula told Jenny, Clair, and Tim she would bring their clothes for the weddings with her and Jenny’s dad when they came up.As we started for the door, Paula stopped Clair and Tim. “You two remember what I said. I don’t want to hear you misbehaved,” Paula said.“Don’t worry, Mom, we won’t get into trouble,” Clair said.We went to the truck and climbed in. The girls sat in the backseat, Rob, Tim and I sat in front. We waved to Paula as we pulled away from the house.“It’s eight thirty now, we should be at Jay’s before noon,” Rob said. “We can shop, grab lunch, and.
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