But those times were when he caught me online and I was by myself. When Tim scheduled a time with the Man, I had no choice. It was something I was going to have to go through.My heart was pounding and I could feel a single cold drop of sweat begin to work its way down between my breasts. I had no idea what was before me, but I could guess. The thought made my skin rise in goose bumps and I saw that the screen enlarged and I could see in the bottom corner of the screen, my own image.I was surprised that my face was not beat red. The screen instead showed me as a composed woman who looked very calm and yet, very alive. My husband stood behind me and the camera cut his head off, but as I looked back at him over my shoulder I could see his eyes looking down my blouse. He squeezed my shoulders and I let out a breath I had not noticed that I was holding before.“You look nice,” came the voice from the computer. “I like your hair pulled back and braided. It allows me to see so much. .”“Well, you live in the apartments, you work at the neighborhood ... It’s too far to walk,” she said. “We’ll figure out something ... Somebody will, I’m sure.”“You’re optimistic,” I said.“You’ll get that way. Let me get my keys. I’ll tell you about how I was introduced to all this...”The ride from the office to the community’s subdivision gave Beck time to give me a window into the early days of the community’s founding. I thought it sounded almost like she should have started ‘Once upon a time... ‘ I mean, I’m eighteen. I can imagine Beck’s shock at finding out her neighbor was a married fourteen year old. But now Cindy’s almost nineteen and she acts like there’s no age at all in her life.That’s one thing to think about. I have a lot of things to think about. Beck drops me off and I knock on Susan’s door.It pops open after a small delay. “Come in,” Susan said with a smile.“Mimi,” little JW said.“Hey, sweetie,” I replied to him. “You gonna stay with me while Mom goes to work?”“Wheah.
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