He wasn’t always smashed and we did have some great philosophical conversations. He was very intelligent and sucking that big banana of his was pretty darn fun to. We were watching TV one night on the couch in the living room. Mark laying on the couch while I sat with his legs over my lap. I could not keep my hands to my self knowing what was waiting for me in his jeans. I started playing with his legs running my hand up his thigh and rubbing his cock through his jeans. When that big cock was hard I unbuttoned and unzipped his jeans to release it and spread the pre cum all over the head with my finger. I asked "How does this feel, do you like?" Oh yes run your finger around the rim" he said with a groan.Mark got up wrapped himself around me and we had a very hot make out session. Hands groping all over each other and tongues exploring mouths building up the heat. Then he came at me so hard I ended up balled up in the corner of the couch. When the kisses broke I said "Put that dick. I musta been pretty drunk, but the feelingwon't go away. I keep looking at my hands and I hate them so much, thereso big and broad, like the rest of me. I thought that's what I alwayswanted, but I can't stand it. I feel like a monster.DAY 30Saw Dr. [Name Redacted] and told her about how I'm feeling. She referredme to a therapist. A month ago I would've hated the idea, butnow...anything that might help with the way I'm feeling.DAY 32Had my first appointment with Dr. [Name Redacted]. He said it soundedlike I might have gender dysphoria. I fuckin' walked out. I'm not a [SlurRedacted], I'm a man!DAY 34Felt like shit again. Dr. [Name Redacted] called, and I set up anotherappointment. Maybe he's right. I've been looking online and the symptomsfit.DAY 35Second appointment with Dr. [Name Redacted]. I think he's right. I'vespent so long trying to prove myself, scared of what I think I alwaysknew, deep down. I've been playing a part, trying to be what I think aman is supposed to be, but it's.
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