That's what I told myself last time, but this time Imean it!"She looked directly into his eyes, her tear-stained face looking suddenlymore determined; even angry."I GET IT, alright? I'm a FREAK. I'm a freak who can't even controlherself and it's only getting worse."She said nothing for a few moments, mulling over in her mind how she couldexplain herself without telling him too much. James looked back at herinnocently, purely, and she knew that if this was to be their lastmeeting, she still had to keep things from him."The longer I knew you, the more I fell for you, the less I wanted to putyou through this. I don't get to have real relationships. I should havelearned that by now. I knew it deep down and that's why I never opened upto you, because I knew this would happen. So please, you should leavenow.... before I change my mind."Her voice broke once again as she uttered those final words, terrifiedthat they would be the last she ever spoke to him. She turned her headagain, not. Of course at 28 he'd thought he was far too old for her and so the years had passed, both of them marrying other people, both of them knowing something was missing, until fate threw them together again, at work of all places.They were married when she was 33 and he 46 and the 16 years following had been some of the happiest of her life, she thought with a smile. And although money had been tight and the road had not always been smooth, she wouldn't have traded it for anything.She feels the warmth of his breath on the back of her neck as he moves closer, and she places the brush gently on the table, savouring the feeling of closeness."Don't stop," he whispers in her ear, and she picks up the brush again, offering it to him to take over. "No, you do it," he says gently, stepping back and resting his hands on her shoulders, "Watching you gives me pleasure." Pleasure?" she questions sadly, "how can watching me give you pleasure? I'm old and grey, tired and wrinkled. Nobody even sees me.
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