. please call the pet store.'So, she calls the pet store. The man says, 'I'll be right over.' Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, 'See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just SITS there!'The man ... looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares 'directly into its eyes' and STERNLY says:'LISTEN TO ME!!I'm only going to show you how to do thisONE MORE TIME...TOP CARE FOR THE ELDERLY.A man goes to visit his 85-year old grandpa in the hospital."How are you grandpa?" He asks."Feeling fine." says the old man."What's the food like?" Terrific, wonderful menus." And the nursing?" Just couldn't be better. These young nurses really take care of you." What about sleeping? Do you sleep okay?" No problem at all, nine hours solid every night. At 10 o'clock they bring me a cup of hot chocolate and a Viagra tablet and that's it. I go out like a light."The grandson is puzzled and a little alarmed by this, so rushes. After what seemed like ages of us staring at each other (I saw his eyes staring at the tops of my legs), he said, "what are you doing in here?" In a good (true) Welsh accent I told him that I was new to the school and I was looking for a toilet. He told me that I should hurry up or I'd be late for class. He walked over and locked the door to the showers as I walked out. 'That was it' I thought, 4A boys were due there first period and the caretaker was locking the door to the girl's changing room. I guessed that he had to go there in the middle of each unoccupied period and lock / unlock the appropriate shower room doors. 'Yes' I thought, 'I'm coming back at lunchtime.'The corridors were deserted and I easily managed to get to the bike sheds and leave by the side entrance. As I pedalled home, standing on the pedals, I wished that Jon hadn't bought me the knickers.At 11:30 I packed my tennis skirt, trainers and a T-shirt into my 'school' bag, put on my uniform and pedalled back to.
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