I found them one day when mom and I were spring cleaning. I did not tell mom about my find; instead from that day on I would sequentially borrow one of his many magazines for my viewing pleasure.I only ever took one at a time; figuring he wouldn’t notice having just one fewer; especially when it would mysteriously reappear in a day or three. I don’t really think he would have minded; but I would have been mortified if he had found out. That’s why I couldn’t just buy my own; it would have been way too embarrassing.I shared them with Lydia, Darcy and Diane, we were a pretty weird foursome,’The Gang of Four.’ Hey, it was the seventies. Diane, who sometimes only answered to ‘Diana of Themyscira,’ was the weirdest but it was by photo-finish. The four of us would read the magazines together and study their contents. ‘The Steiner Bureau’ was scary, and yet totally intriguing at the same time.My favorite however, were the diary like stories by Annie Sprinkle. She was everything that I was. "I watched my mother's slim form walked walk out the door as she headed downstairs to the kitchen, while I rocked back and forth on the edge of my bed. I couldn't stop shaking, I was a fucking basket case and I knew it, but knowing and being able to do something about it were two totally different things. That all expenses paid trip to Baghdad that ol' Dubyah had sent me on really had made a lasting impression. No need for vacation photos, I would carry the pictures in my head for the rest of my life.I heard mother coming up the stairs and turned my head to watch her come in. She held a pill and a small glass of water in one hand and a pillow in the other. Dropping the pillow at the head of the bed she handed me the pill and the water.After taking the pill I slid over next to the wall and let mom crawl in. It was tight quarters being only a twin bed, but once she got in and the pillows all situated, she was in a comfortable, reclined, sitting position. She had been in that same.
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