Joe doesn’t believe me. Anyway, a few weeks ago, Jim called and said he has a problem and asked if I might help him. Jim does various types of photography ranging from family portraits to soft core porn for startup web sites. Startup soft core web sites usually don’t have the modeling contacts and sometimes hire photographers like Jim to supply various types of photographs that they can use. Jim said he has a contract that’s due in a few days and the modeling agency he uses came up short of help and he wondered if I might be interested. I had never done modeling like that and asked him what kind of poses he had in mind. Jim said they were vanilla type of soft porn that wouldn’t show any intimate details. I thought he wasn’t being completely truthful and pushed a little bit more. He finally blurted, “OK, total nudity but no crotch shots. We’d keep your front hidden but we’ll need topless close ups.” After some serious discussions between Joe and I and another conversation with Jim,. (Both Hero and Philia—the characters, not necessarily the actors—are dumber than a can of Spam.) Pseudolus appears and explains to the old man that this young hottie is a new maid Hysterium has hired, and Senex, pleased with her work ethic, sings this song about how great it is to have a maid. Four verses, one not very interesting tune, and four dancing character guys: it’s actually better than it sounds, but it’s not like a little sex appeal can’t improve things. Anyway, costumes fits the three of us up in these slutty little French maid outfits, complete with the short skirts, poofy crinolines, white lace aprons and head thingies, and black fishnets, and Parker introduces us into the number one at a time to partner the guys. I’m blocked to come out last in this incredibly low-cut lace trimmed blouse, and I strike this pin-up pose: bent forward, knees together, arms into my sides, tits for days, and a surprised little pout on my red-painted lips. The music stops completely—one of.
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