On the one hand he wants to nurture, protect and give pleasure.Of course, he'll support me in style, treat me like a queen, I'll never wantfor anything and all that. But, he said, perhaps a little immodestly he thinkshe can give me rich and fascinating experiences on more than just the materiallevel. But then, on the other hand, I have to know that he can be very demanding.He will demand that, within the limits we set on the relationship, I will puthim before anything else, and work hard to make him happy. And he will demandmy obedience. That means that I accept his say on something even when I disagreeor maybe feel uncomfortable with what he's asking. And, if he believes it isnecessary, he will use physical punishment to reinforce obedience. ?That was exactly how he said it. In the bar in Les Ambassadeurs, inthis quiet shady little corner. Sitting across the table looking directly intomy eyes. After he'd finished, we just sat there looking at each other for afew moments. I didn't. She held out a small piece of meat and with the beginnings of a smile made him beg for it; satisfied she placed it in his mouth and he gratefully swallowed it. Perhaps all would be well he thought; the food, which he now knew was good, was having a calming effect on her. No mistakes, he thought, no mistakes, please no mistakes. He started to tremble a bit fearing what she might do if angered. From time to time she would feed him a scrap as she ate and drank and read from a book. The book appeared to grip her and she ate less and less as the time passed. The servant felt more confident that all would be well and his mind wandered a little so he did not see her absent-mindedly offer him another scrap. As he saw it and went to receive it, he knocked it off the fork and onto the floor. He froze in terror but she had not noticed. He knelt there shivering as she read on. The clock chimed the half hour. She had stopped eating and was more and more engrossed in her book. Just as the clock.
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