A man that she didn’t even know, what did she expect marrying a bad, boy Boston cop with too many transgressions and too many secrets. With him having secrets on the job, secrets off the job, keeping secrets at home, and having a secret life that she knew little about, he used her too. Being that she was on her way to being a psychiatrist, it should have been no secret to her that he’d turn out to be physically and emotionally abusive? Yet, being too close to the fire, she realized too late that another man burned her again. With her trying to help him by analyzing him, rather than him talking to her about his issues, the last straw was when he pushed her down the stairs after telling him, in a nice way and in the way she talks to her patients, all that was wrong with him. When she persevered and tried helping him by giving him some, personal psychiatric advice, the last straw was when he used her as his personal punching bag. With him having a 5th degree black belt in Judo, he knew. Don’t blame him for that. How about when he shoved his dick down your throat?”“Typical male domination fantasy,” I said, dismissively.“Absolutely right. Which you knew. AND you knew it would turn him on, didn’t you?”I sighed. “Yeah, I did.”“And let’s not forget about your persistent need to be punished and hurt. You hide it well, mostly, but it’s always there, isn’t it?”“Yes,” I reluctantly admitted. “It is.”“So, did he or did he not give you what exactly you wanted, what you’ve been desperately looking for, for practically ever?”I nodded slowly (knowing she couldn’t see me, but still…).“And, outside of the sex-play you were both doing, was he, or was he not, a perfect gentleman? And didn’t you feel safe entrusting yourself, your body, your well-being to him? Or, put it another way, was there any time you didn’t feel safe?”I thought about it carefully. Right from the start, the cues were there. His insistence that I put my seat-belt on. His giving me the choice to just walk away once.
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