Mitch stepped and delivered. The batter about swung out of his shoes and I mitted it with a sharp crack.I flicked it back to Mitch, knowing he might try the slider after that massive miss. It was a warm day, but this batter threatened to cool me off with his whiffs.Mitch rocked back and delivered again. The batter, their leadoff man mind you, somehow swung under the slider and managed to foul it off. That was a first I’d seen that season. ‘Did this batter have his eyes open?’I flicked the ball back to Mitch and just nodded at him. We both knew a fastball was the way to go here. Mitch set up and delivered a scorcher right down the pipe that I mitted with another sharp crack.We heard nothing. The ump said nothing.“Count, Blue?”“One and two,” he said dismissively.I stood and looked at him silently for a moment before turning and tossing the ball back to Mitch.I got back into my crouch and pointed a finger straight down insistently.Mitch rocked and fired another heater, slightly higher up. " Oh yeah, no, she's hot. Shit show though." I'll be sure not to tell her." I finished the beer and stood up to leave. I made a mock bow and left.I don't think he believed my story, but then again, neither did I really. In the thirty odd years I've graced the world with my presence, I've seen many things on television that constitute a new low, a new scrapping of the barrel, but this takes this piss. It makes Ghost Hunting with The Only Way is Essex seem avant guarde.The idea was simple: a camera crew follows a member of the public as they go on a date with a celebrity. Apparently, there are also a bunch of hidden cameras around too. All the footage is played out in front of a studio audience where people win money for betting on how the date progresses.None of these have been shown live yet; I guess they are waiting until all of them are 'in the can'. The one featuring Kimberly Nixon, the 26 year old Welsh actress was advertised just as I was watching her sitcom, Fresh Meat, on the.
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