If I take it it would mean that I'll have tomove to Cincinnati immediately. Marilyn will you come with me. We could livetogether and no one would know we weren't married." What!" the startled woman cried out, her mouth dropping open in amazement."Goddamn it, Marilyn, I love you, don't you know that already, I've loved you foryears, long before Walt died."Marilyn was silent for a long, long time; it appealed to her somehow to live with aman again, and it was true she really did enjoy Ronnie's company, with him shecould have a normal relationship instead of having to skulk around in secret andeventually anyway she knew her love-affair with the boys would have to end."What about Peter?" I've already talked to him about it. At first I was so angry I thought I would kill himMarilyn, I swear I did. Then I realized that he was only a boy and that probably youhad given him something really invaluable and besides that, how could I blame him,you're one hell of a woman Marilyn."Marilyn Goodge. ‘You knew better,’ I scolded myself, lifting my bloodshot eyes to the mirror as I spat into the sink. Every fiber of my being had told me not to go there, that naught good could come of it. I did it anyway—because he wanted it and I wanted to please him. Simple, really. The reason why he wanted it was not lost on me, though. It added to my anger. Packing wouldn’t have taken nearly as long if not interrupted several times by dry heaves. I saw his eyes as I squeezed my own closed. Not the eyes I cherished—the ones that studied me with a mixture of amazement and adoration—but the placating, angst-filled eyes. The pleading eyes. I never wanted to see those eyes again. I heard his voice as I ran the tap water to wash my face. Not the voice I cherished—the one that promised me all his tomorrows—but the appeasing, soothing voice. The ass-kissing voice drifting through a closed door. I never wanted to hear that voice again. I knew as soon as he came back into the living room that he was.
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