When we get into bed after dinner and him sitting on his ass watching some damn sports program he tries to get something going. He whispers that I better take good care of his girls and hefts my breasts. I want to kill him. I want him to make love to me, to join with me and feel my fear and pain. What I get is fucked. Then it dawns on me that all I have ever gotten is fucked; and my tits played with. My breasts, will I lose my breasts? Can I be a woman without them?I wake up but I am so tired. I have been tired for a long time now. I read that fatigue can be a symptom relating to breast cancer; shit! It has been a tough few days and sleep does not seem to help. And I seem to be so tired. I go to Mass and then go to work because my biopsy is not scheduled until the afternoon. At work the new supervisor looks strange; he got a haircut. Now why would I notice that? It is now pretty short, about an inch long. Fear grips me again, will I lose my hair? Will I be bald with no eyebrows or. ”“It’s OK,” I said. “I really am sorry.”“You didn’t do anything wrong,” she said, offering her lips for a kiss. “I really want to, but I can’t.”I put my arm around her and we cuddled for the rest of the movie without any further kissing or touching. I could tell she was uncomfortable when a long hot sex scene came on, so I was careful not to move my hand or do anything that might be taken the wrong way. When the movie ended, we cleared away the popcorn bowls, bottles, glasses, and the remnants of the chip bags.“What’s up for tomorrow?” I asked.“During the day?” Samantha asked. “Some of us are going shopping; some of us are going to the beach. We’ll have dinner and then go dancing over on the Dutch side, as I said.”“Sounds like a plan!” I said. “I’ll probably go to the beach or use the pool, and maybe take a walk. I don’t feel like shopping!”“That’s fine!”It was after midnight and the girls began filtering up to bed. Liz came over to me and we started up the stairs when Mary called my.
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