." Just what?" Well, Janice has had to work late a lot recently, she just got a promotion ... and well, I guess I've had to take on a larger share of the housework." Really??" Rachael's eyes lit up at my admission. "If only I could find a husband like you! I'll have to ask Janice how she convinced you to sacrifice your career for hers." Well, that's not how I'd put it..." I said quickly, horrified at Rachael's implication. "It'll just be temporary, really. Just until Janice has a chance to clean up the mess at work she inherited." Well, I wouldn't be too sure," Rachael said. "Regardless, I'll have to shift some of your tasks to Daniel, I hope that's okay. After all, the work has to get done."My heart sunk. I knew that unless I started working more hours I might be out of a job."Sure," I said, "but it will only be temporary, I swear."Unfortunately, it wasn't just dinner that was cutting into my work hours. Over the last month, Janice had pretty much made it clear that I was to be. I have actually pulled off this absurd stunt and I have yet to see her face. Amazingly, the tremors weaken and reality begins to sharpen. The entry into this surreal zone was rough – now that I’ve crossed the threshold, I feel I can take control. My buttocks are only a warm-up – as the feeling returns to my extremities, I inhale and turn and face Sandy. Her open mouth and eyes are equal in size. She looks me in the face for an instant then, inevitably, looks down at my body. Her expression of disbelief may be permanent and her facial muscles may never relax. Like attempted drama in a porn film, I begin to improvise a matter-of-fact speech concerning the logic of this situation.“Come on, Sandy, we’re both adults,” I calmly begin. (Being naked proves the obvious accuracy of my portion of that statement. ) My voice begins to lose its vibrato. She remains wide-eyed and wide-mouthed. “It’s about time we move out of the past.” I have no idea what other idiotic phrases I am about to say.
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