Missy had her back to me and Jackie was chattering away. Gail, however, was staring at me.Suddenly, the cheerfulness was just too much, and I had to hustle out of the cafeteria. I saw Jesse and Mary Jo exchanging puzzled glances, and I heard Mary Jo call my name, but I didn't, couldn't, stop.I walked to the narrow strip of concrete behind the school that held the HVAC equipment. I sighed as I scraped the snow off the concrete and slid down the wall until my butt was on the cold concrete. Part of me wanted to scream and cry, another just to understand. I wiped away an unwanted tear, shaking my head with a sigh. I needed to figure this out, first. I could also cry later.I stared at the air handlers pondering Missy's note. Should I call her? Would her mother let me talk to her? Did Missy even want me to call her? It was obvious that she wasn't going to try to talk to me. Her behavior in class and at lunch made that plain. Was she even worth it? Was I tilting at windmills here?Damn, I. I could feel Karen watching me when I patted Naiya carefully until she fell asleep. After that I still kept on looking at that little girl, and even though I’m not at all religious, I said a silent prayer that she would be able to live a normal life. A life of a normal little girl without any unnecessary fears.“Somehow I always knew that you’d be a good father.”I knew that Karen meant good with her words, but just now her words felt like a sucker punch under my belt. Even if I tried to hide how that felt to me, she must have noticed that something changed.“I’m sorry, Greg. I didn’t mean to hurt you with that.”“I know that, Karen. And thank you, it was a nice thing to say.”She looked at me for a moment.“You have changed, Greg. You are like two different persons, one is the same nice person I used to know, but the other is someone tougher, someone who has hardened during the years. I guess I can blame myself partly for that.”“No, Karen, that is much too much credit to put on any single.
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