It was some time before I spoke up."Would you like to tell me what that was all about over there?" Carolwould not look me in the eyes instead she hung her head. "I was forced todo what you saw. Helen got me over there on another pretense. I had no ideathat was going to happen. Please believe me."It was almost like she read my mind because I thought about the garage froma few days earlier. Carol suddenly lifted her head. "What did Helen meanabout cock sucking in the garage?" Now it was my turn. I took a deepbreath. "It, it was nothing. I had an encounter with Ben in the garage afew days ago." "What kind of encounter?" When I went over to get the trimmer." I could feel the humiliation allover my body. "He, he forced me to suck his cock." "And you never saidanything about it?" I starred at her. "Were you going to say anythingabout today?" It appeared we were both at a standoff. I had my humiliationand Carol had hers. "let's just let it go and get on with our lives."Two days. I tried to talk to her about the reasons she had quit her life as a famousscientist to become an ordinary Amish housewife, but she ignored myquestions and gave me only this one response, "The most important goal inyour life has to be, to become a worthy member of our community."Living conditions where very hard at that time - and still are in ourrural community because of the loss of most of our cattle. However, webegan rebuilding our herd starting with five new heifers that were alreadypregnant when they arrived at our farms.Those heifers were rather slightly built on their arrival and I couldn'tunderstand where the money came from to buy them, even for such pooranimals. When I asked my father about that he just answered that it wasthe good Lord who was helping us and that I should stop asking such stupidquestions. I could see by the expression on his face that I, for my owngood, had better respect his advice. And that was it!Last year our community seems to have found enough.
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