"I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night.Or "foreplay" as she likes to call it.After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the missus were going to commit suicide together yesterday.Strangely enough, however, once she killed herself I started to feel a lot better.So I thought - sod it, I'll soldier on.I woke up this morning at 8 and could sense something was wrong.I got downstairs and found the wife face down on the kitchen floor, not breathing! I panicked. I didn't know what to do.Then I remembered – the local cafe serve breakfast until 11.30."Jesus Loves You."Nice to hear in church but not in a Mexican prison.Got caught having a piss in the local swimming pool today.The lifeguard shouted at me so loud I nearly fell in.I woke to go to the toilet in the middle of the night and noticed a Muslim sneaking through next door's garden.Suddenly my neighbour came from nowhere and smacked him over the head with a shovel killing him instantly.He then began to dig. Night after night they wentthrough this, the endless teasing and then the punishments, but he could neverquite get used to it. The night before, they?d notwatched television?instead Lindy had sat Basil naked to the cold, metal kitchenstool, in a sitting position thank God, and she?d stroked his cock as she madebran muffins?this had gone on for three hours, and then she?d thumped his cocklimp with her fifteen inch two finger tawse. As Basil had screamed infrustration, Lindy had reminded him that she?d bought it---after he?d picked itout, and with his Visa card. Now, Lindy waited patiently forBasil to stop crying. She tapped her foot, and Basil whined on. ?You know, Ithink you need something to cry about?you bitch too much, honey. As Basil?seyes widened, Lindy went to the bedroom and came out with a nasty dog whip, andof course the strap-on. An hour later, the much bruisedBasil lay in bed gently, and Lindy rolled in beside him. ?It?s so hard to dealwith you some nights, Baze? she said.
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