Ian has left me an invitation, anyway. A chance to go to Christmas Mass, sing in praise of everything I cannot put real words to and oh! I love it so! I love him, I really do, but I wish he weren’t such as a church-goer. I am terribly afraid of loud organs in large closed spaces. Almost spooky it felt the last time I went. ‘8am. See you there’, it says on the note. But I didn’t go. You know me. I never keep appointments that I make. Especially not at 8am to go to someone’s cult gathering when it’s 20 degrees outside and I can be warm and asleep. You left a message on the phone. Usually when you leave a message there is a nice ring to your voice, something loving the way it teases as it says, ‘See you soon’. But none of that today. The christian zealot is mad I did not attend the Mass to thank the God who saved his very life from the hands of cancer. I went there once, though. To pray. I had teary eyes and a nice dagger through my heart and it helped me to beg a lot. And. I went to the gym and when I got home I checked my answering machine. There were no messages and I was disappointed. I made a sandwich and ate it while watching the noon news. Next, I jumped in the shower and stroked one off as I fantasized Karen was giving me a pantyhose foot job. I was so fucking horny that a big glob of cum hit the tile and stay there. I splashed water on it but it didn’t help. I had to splash water and rub the cum with my hand to get it to rinse away. I dressed and headed out the door for work.We were actually somewhat busy at the dealership due to the holidays. A lot of people wanted a new car for Christmas or for tax reasons. At 4:10 p.m. I was paged. I took a deep breath, hoping it was Karen. I picked up the receiver and said “Hello this is Bryan” as pleasantly as I could. Karen answered back “Hi Bryan, sorry I didn’t get back to you earlier.” I didn’t answer back immediately and Karen said “Bryan, are you there?” I mustered my courage and said “Yes, I’m here..
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