The normally messy room has been tidied somewhat, the bed dressed and the clothes which would have been on the floor have been picked up, folded and piled carefully at the edge of my bed. Its like my mother hoped that by preserving the imprinted memory of me within this room, I would suddenly walk out of it, as if Id been hiding in the cupboard the entire time. I skim my fingers across the varnished wood surface of my dresser and rub a smudge from the mirror behind it. I treat everything I touch with absolute reverence, like its all part of an ancient tomb, the prized possessions of a departed soul. Oh, I know that I am still Selena, but Im a different version of her, reborn from the ashes of this old life. Freedom beckons while the chains of my past sing sweetly to me, attempting to entice me back into their iron hold. Their fingers of nostalgia grip tight my throat and I can barely breathe. I love my family but this existence has stifled me all these years. I want to be free! But. .and I couldn't help but recall once again images of Omar fucking my wife with such vigor and lust; as well as Marta returning the same enthusiasm towards him!Neither of us knew just how we were going to break the news to either of our families back home, that yes, Marta was pregnant, BUT---not by ME, but by an African male, instead, and, what was more, it had not been an accident, but a well thought out and long planned plan! They'd be shocked at first, and maybe even upset, but they would have to get over that and accept it as a fact! There were very few blacks in Poland, and even fewer Polish females who'd had a black baby, and so Marta and I were sailing pretty much uncharted waters when it came to this; and yet, therein was a big part of why she and I had decided to do what we had done!Neither of us had any idea how our society was going to react to what we had done. So it was both exciting, as well as scary; but that was part of the thrill of any adventure. Either way, neither.
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