.. never mind. I’m sure...”“Hey, Jan,” Paula Philouma said as she walked in. “Heard you were looking for me.”Jan slowly rubbed her eyes, wishing she’d been able to sleep.“You’re sure he’s not dead?”Paula flowed into the chair next to her sister-in-law.“Positive, honey. If he was ... I’d know it. You having problems believing it?”“Yes.”Jan rubbed her belly, even though she wasn’t showing yet.“I’m not used to life as...”“A mob bride?”“Yes, and certainly not as acting head of whatever Family there is left. Add in us disappearing into Mexico, your Mr. Lanier faking Nick’s death...”“You’re feeling very lost.”“Yes. And Randy’s much worse off than I am.”“Yeah ... Loretta, Tommie, me, we’re all worried about Randy. You believe Nick’s alive ... not totally believe, but enough that you’re not completely losing your mind...”“And Randy can’t. Or maybe he’s afraid to, I don’t know,” Jan finished.“Yeah. If you’d like, I can talk to the boss, see about getting Randy – and you – some. It might be a cliché but I had never stopped to smell the roses.I arrived home to my own well kept little garden. It was low maintenance like the rest of my life outside of work, but was attractive enough. Checking the mail, only to find the electricity bill, I sighed. I wondered if the whole world was like this, little microcosms of uniformity, people's lives following the expected pattern. That night I decided I would go traveling. I had to know if it was different elsewhere. Was there more to life than this?I spent hours on the internet that night. I sat drinking coffee until 2am in the morning trying to decide where I would go. In fact I spent hours over the next month researching my travel plans. At only 30, it felt like I was too young for a midlife crisis but suddenly my life felt infused with a passion. Within the month, I had quit my job and was on a plane to London. London felt about as far away from my little predicable life in Perth, Australia and I wanted to see many of.
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