He takes a few seconds, thinking of what to say. He then smiles at me and shakes his head. Nothing, he tells me. Then he lays down on his side with his arms open, looking at me. I smile and curl up against him, his arm as my pillow and the other arm resting over my ribs with his hand tucked under my side. There’s an odd distance between us, so I scoot closer and press my body to his. He’s always very warm and I smile at the warmth I feel now throughout my body. He quickly separates himself from me, replacing the distance. I frown and look up at him. Babe? I ask, You sure that you’re okay? He takes a deep breath, his eyes closed tightly as if he’s struggling with something. I wait. He looks down at me, his eyes bright. I just, uhmm, it’s just that…., he starts but can’t seem to find his words. Then he blurts everything out without a single pause for breath. It’s just that you’re my first real relationship and girlfriend and I’m not used to this and it’s getting harder to control. It was clumsy and frenetic. I couldn't get my mouth right and he grabbed everything way too hard, but neither of us cared. The performance didn't matter, our expectations only got in the way. When I sat down in the car and he started driving, all either of us knew was what we wanted. He wanted to touch my tits and I wanted to suck his dick.What does that have to do with this? Simple, it's not always about what you expect. It's about more than that. Sometimes your expectations are met, sometimes they're missed. Sometimes you are in control and sometimes you're controlled.In the end, isn't it all about pleasure? How much pleasure do you get in a day? Me? I prefer as much as possible, all I can get.That's why I'm a pet. I don't know if that first experience in the back of Jake's Oldsmobile has anything to do with it, maybe it doesn't, but I like to think it does. I like to think it was the first step, the catalyst the led me down this road. I kind of like that, the way it all ties.
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