Since it was marked “Personal” for my attention, she had not opened it and I was glad because it was thick enough to make it a suspicious package and I wanted to wand it first to check it out. Everything seemed fine and I opened it with my little Swiss Army knife being careful about how I did it.I spread the files on my desk and looked at no less than two dozen Internal Affairs investigations of suspected dirty cops with recorded payoffs from organized crime figures and attorneys representing gang members. I knew some of these guys and I guess I was a little shocked to see them in this hall of shame. There was enough guilt to go around for any of them to have taken down Raymond before he could inform on them and I was beginning to think the assault on the police headquarters was payback for the investigation.It was easy to deduce that someone in Internal Affairs was unhappy with how the details were being shoved under the carpet and had sent them to me knowing I would have no problem. ’ ‘Only things that would make it better would be a doubleheader and free beer.’ He chuckled and patted my back. ‘I don’t see anyone giving away beer.’ ‘No, sir, neither do I.’ He shook his head and pulled himself onto the cement stairs, holding onto the recently replaced handrails. He moved his cane to his left hand and leaned heavily on his left leg. I found out later that summer that he was having a difficult time with diabetes and was in the process of losing his right foot. I stood rooted at the base of the stairs, watching the old man make his way up to his seat. I wanted to move, to rush into the bleachers and ask the fan my question, but my nerves were getting to me. I took a few deep, soothing breaths and closed my eyes, cleansing my mind of all thoughts. Then it popped into my mind. I remembered where I had seen him before. And what scared me more was not where, but that I wasn’t fearful of him, no more was I nervous. Remembrance had brought me peace, an ease that I had.
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