Kyle.”“Kyle? Who’s Kyle? What about your husband, Kenny?”“Oh Honey, that was soooo last week,” I ad-libbed glibly. “Don’t you watch Access? God knows, I pay them enough to shill for me. Anyway, after nine months, it’s my turn to go out and have a little fun.”“I can’t believe you got your figure back so fast! What’s your secret?”“Surrogacy,” I responded matter-of-factly. “Try it some time. Waitress?”The second bottle was better than the first. Maybe it was just my perception of it (I already had a nice buzz going from the first bottle). Maybe it was because the hangers-on actually went to get drinks of their own and left Cindy and me a little breathing room. Of course, that couldn’t last forever.Song! Song! Song! Song!The floor trembled from the stamp of feet on the main floor. My chair moved, unbidden, a little with each thundering pulse. Even the exposed steel I-beams above our heads were vibrating in perfect sync. I looked over the edge of the balcony and saw the sea of faces. .." Oh my god. A fire?? Are you okay? What happened?"Jordan sighed, and took some time to explain about the fire and thecurling iron."Anyway," Jordan said, "I'm going to the mall to shop for someessentials with Angela, and I need you to come with us." Of course... uh... buddy," Jason had a hard time saying 'buddy' tosuch a feminine sounding voice. "Why?" I need to get something called a 'gaff', you know, to hide my... uh...male parts, so I don't need to keep taping them all the time." You TAPE YOUR JUNK?" Jason asked, wincing and crossing his legs. "Areyou kidding me??" Yeah, it sucks. I mean, it *really* sucks. Okay? So this is critical,I need you to distract Angela so I can sneak across the street from themall and buy this thing which will hold my stuff between my legs sopeople can't see it. Can you do that for me?" Of course, Jordan." Thanks, Jason, I knew I could count on you. I think you're my onlyreal friend left."Jason's shoulders sagged, feeling even more guilty, knowing how.
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