They never said anything to me when I left this morning. I should have known. They go down there about every other weekend. I've been going crazy because I can't go with them because of the stupid show. I haven't seen Jennifer and Courtney since before Christmas. I talk to them a couple times a week, but I'm really missing them." Why do your parents go down there?" Oh." All of the girls who had been close to me for the better part of a year knew about my parents and Anna. We never mentioned it in the larger group, though. "Um ... Rachel, are you really one of my girlfriends? This is different than having a kiss or going on a date." She wrinkled up her nose at me."You need to take a shower before you dress for the dance," she said. What? Weren't we just talking about... ?She led me to the bathroom and ordered me to get us towels as she started the water. When I returned from the linen closet, Rachel was standing in the bathroom in her bra and panties."Sorry! I didn't mean to barge in. "I really do love you." She was hearing my words as "Mom". We shared another long look. She looked only slightly relieved. "I love you Mom. And, ..." I added slowly, meaningfully, "I love you, Judy." She came fully alert at that. "I love you as my mother, but, ...." Oh please don't" she blurted."I think I love you, ... as Judy." She began to shake her head. "I love you as, ... a lover." No. You can't. We can't. We mustn't." I can't help it." I told her. "I want you that way."There was a long silence where she kept slowly shaking her head. She looked like she was trying to convince herself more than me. "I would love to be your lover. Take you to my bed. Make love to you." She continued to listen, shaking her head the whole time."Since I saw you nude, I realized that I really do love you completely. I always have. You are perfect for me, always were, now even physically, sexually. I love you and want to make love to you so badly." No sweetie. We never could, we never can! Over Skype.
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