She screamed at me, “Are you fucking stupid, totally ignorant, or just the biggest fucking male chauvinist pig I’ve ever met?”JR and Nikky were nodding but with slight smirks.“Nikky got in on the act, too. They both were yelling at me – in my face, only inches away – back and forth. They knew what I’d been thinking. They knew me from deep inside. They read me the fucking riot act for over forty minutes. They knew how I’d been thinking about each of them and Jenny and Deb and everybody. I got asked whether I wanted this job or whether I just wanted a piece of ass and notches on my bed posts.“The two of them asked whether I was up for changing who I was and how I thought about women. I told them my background and how I wanted to change, but that I didn’t know whether I could. They broke me down further until I promised I’d change. I pleaded with them for help to change.“Then they beat me up verbally about the subject of love, believe it or not. They wanted my definition and emotional. My fingers were still cradled between the palms of his hands, and this realization filled me with warmth. “Thank you, Jack.”He caught where I was looking and gave a smirk. “Hands feeling better?”“A bit, yes, but I meant thank you for beating the shit out of Danny Westler. You were right; I wasn't ready and he all but stole my first time from me. It shouldn't have been with him.”The words caught in his throat as he began to speak, but stopped just before anything could reach his tongue. With a deep breath, he began to trace his fingers against the back of my hand. “Who should it have been?”Answering with the full truth was not an option. I wouldn't allow myself to ruin his closeness with honesty. This was friendly conversation, and I was about to make it personal. He should have been my first. First and only. I settled on the response of, “someone I love.”“Was any time?” The tone in his voice was close to concern.“Was any time with someone I loved? No. I wouldn't even say any time.
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