As he was leaving, I mentioned that he was always welcome to have lunch with me at noon on future deliveries. With a broad smile, he stated that he would definitely be doing so.Fourteen days later, Gus again arrived at twelve as usual. On this occasion, however, things became a lot more personal and he asked me about my sex life in the town. I told him about Jarrod and Bull (as former chronicled in two earlier stories entitled Salad Dressing and Bull), but didn’t go into too many details. Gus seemed fascinated.“What kind of guys do you like?” he eventually inquired. Describing Bull to him, he was left in no doubt that I preferred masculine men. Gus was particularly captivated by the fact that Bull was a married man.“Would an oaf like me appeal to you?” he then questioned.I was very guarded with my reply, first acknowledging that I realized he was straight, but did go on to say that I thought him very sexy. By now lunch was over and Gus had to be on his way.Two weeks later as we stood. "I had it done permanently. It makes me feel so femme. I'm so happythat none of that awful man-hair will ever grow back," I lied."So you're totally committed to becoming as girly as you can."It was time for an even bigger untruth. "Absolutely. That's why I putmyself on a weight-gain diet. I want tits and a big butt." Well, you've made a successful start. Tyra told us about your caloriequest, so the three of us got together and decided to each bring you afattening treat, as a surprise." She looked over at my spouse. "Youdon't mind, do you, dear?" Not at all. The last thing I want to do is interfere with Leslie whileshe's on her yellow brick road to happiness. My job is just to help heron her journey."Zell smiled at me and opened her capacious shoulder bag. From it shetook a box of six cream-filled Wing Dings. "Here you go, sweet cheeks.Gobble them all down."I looked toward my wife, hoping she would allow me to eat one and savethe rest, but she just grinned maliciously. I.
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