When I can't make someone laugh, there's a problem. Not to brag, but it's the truth. I could come to your mother's funeral and at least get a chortle out of you.Worried, I skipped third period. Went down to see Mr. Tilling instead."Hey, Ed," he greeted me. "Aren't you supposed to be in class?" You can give me a note. This is important." All right," he said-I think he was surprised to see me so serious. "What's on your mind?" I think we need to call a time-out. The Program isn't working, not this time. In fact, it might be making a bad situation worse." Ed, I'm surprised. Of all the people I thought might have a problem, you are the last..." Oh, no," I cut him off, "not me. I'm talking about Natalie." Oh," he said."Mr. Tilling, she's on the verge of a nervous breakdown." I know," he said simply."You know? And you let her go into The Program?" I was incredulous."I didn't have a choice. You know how parental consent for The Program works. Her mother demanded she be placed." I have a. ” With that, she downed her drink and crossed the bar. As I finished my drink and paid my tab, I saw her flirting with the bouncer. Unbelievable, I thought. How can this be so easy for her? The next day, I met Ashley outside the building we had our first class in. “Well, how was last night?” I asked. “Total waste of time! We had to be quick so let’s just say my total is now two and a half inches…” Ashley told me. “I felt a lot sluttier than I thought I would. Maybe we should go by your plan and see if this leader board goes up.” The next two days went on as usual and Ash and I decided to stop by the house to investigate Friday afternoon. When we walked in, to our horror, there it was - a big marker board with all our names on it, along with our “Total Charitable Contributions.” Nichole - 5 Rachel - 6 Carli - 8 Vanessa - 12 Ashley - 0 Sam - 0 Oh, shit. This was very real and we were already behind. “Care for a drink?” Ashley asked. “Fuck and yes.” I replied. “Off campus?”.
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