There’s still a touch of the sadness I feel when I’m reminded that she never really loved me. That’s probably the hardest part of this for me. But I have to admit that if she can be happy with Jim then I think I can accept that.I imagine most men couldn’t handle watching their wife and their best friend fall in love. But it’s time I started being honest with myself. Something about them together just seems right. I can’t help wondering, though, if Jim, the acknowledged expert on the opposite sex, has realized it yet.Jim might deny it, of course. He has always given the impression he’s a confirmed bachelor. But I see something in his eyes when he looks at Lea that I’ve never seen when he was with any other woman. The rightness of it is totally obvious to me.And when I saw the truth of it I realized Jim has probably been in love with Lea all along! He has never acted on it. I know he hasn’t. I’m equally certain he never said a word to her about how he feels. He wouldn’t do that to me.. Hoping I get a new cap gun set, that was really all I’d asked Santa for at Sears. Christmas day rolled around and I KNEW I’d gotten my cap guns, but I also KNEW I’d gotten a pedal car. Don’t ask me how, it was locked in Grandma’s garage until the night before. I was excited about my new gun set, but even more thrilled that I was getting wheels and had the gall to ask about it before they [parents] brought it out. “How did you know you were getting a car?” asked Sis “I dunno, I just knew.” My bitch of a mother piped up with “The little bastard peeked somehow. For that, we should make Santa take it back.” Dad asked if I’d peeked but how could I? Grandma lived clear across town.I knew everything I was getting, be it Christmas or birthday. I think the parental units were about at wits ends on how/where to hide things. I didn’t peek, I just knew. I turned five and 11 months when Christmas night rolled around again. By tradition, our family did the presents thing Christmas night because.
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