I'm sorry but I've had a bit of writer's block. I haven't done athing for over a year and haven't had a book deal in a couple yearsnow.'She continued to study me then asked, "so, you're here to borrow money,name your figure."I studied her, amazed she was so blunt. So, I followed her lead andsaid, "I need thirty-thousand."She didn't even blink but she leaned back in her chair to think."I understand you are into every bookie in town, and a couple of themare already looking for you. That makes you a bad risk. I would hate toloan you money then see you have an accident or something. It would bebad for business."She continued to size me up as I told her the score. I knew the horsesand had an inside lead with a couple of jockeys and some owners at afew of the tracks. I sometimes made a few bucks writing editorialsabout a few of the bigger races during the year so I felt I had an edge. I was going to take the 30 grand, hit a race that paid 5 to 1 orbetter then clean up. That would give me. Simple but functional like the man. His shoulders were broad. Broad enough to carry the baggage that she had brought to this relationship. Broad enough to break down the doors…walls…fortresses…that she had built around her heart. Lynn smiled and tried to focus upon his face. But the tears must be back because all she saw was a… *** All she saw was a blur. Lynn sat bolt upright in her bed. The sheets were wet with sweat. But it was a different kind of moisture that collected in a large pool on her pillow. Tears. Tears of a lifetime. Tears of thousand mistakes. But what surprised her was that mixed sparingly among those tears of pain were a few of hope and faith as well. She had been having this dream…the exact same dream…every night since her son’s wedding over a month ago. It was probably just the sentimental rantings of an old woman. Her time was gone. She had her children and they had all turned out wonderful and hopefully soon she might begin to have grandchildren. And if worse.
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