In my odd moments I frequented medicine shows and revivals and sensed the possibilty of combining alcohol with religion to good advantage. I liked the name Washburn, adapted it when I began my own enterprise and heeded Horace Greeley’s advice to go west. Washburn’s MIracle Elixir was nothing more than herbs, spices, sugar, water and lots of rum. Most of my customers were tee-totalers and the rum usually provided the needed effect, usually in short order. Needless to say – but I’ll say it anyway – I moved around a lot. This fine fall day I was in Cedar Rapids, Iowa. I had parked my wagon near a regional fair to take advantage of the crowds, a practical thing to do since taking advantage was what I did. My associate took one big drink of the miracle elixir, waited for a pregnant moment and then straightened his bent back and began to dance a little jig, shouting ‘Hallelujah, hallelujah, bless my stars it works!’ His performance was impeccable and showed the result of many hours of. Middle-aged. Pale. Overweight. Ugly. Lonely. Depressed.*We'd got chatting in a bar after I'd accidentally trodden on her toe – both drunk but she more drunk than me – and admitted towards the end of the evening she'd had a rough time when she had been younger, hinted at abuse.Damaged and vulnerable, I'd concluded as I'd given her my mobile number - my kind of female.I'd met her the next day for a coffee in town and she'd been uglier than I'd recalled: beady little brown eyes too close together set in a pudgy round face with a snub nose and flared nostrils with a prominent chin. Her hair was a mousey brown, badly styled and touched her shoulders. I can't remember what she was wearing because she was so ugly, too ugly to fuck, but maybe, just maybe, ugly enough to hurt.She'd talked too much about her job in the local library, her love of literature, tried to impress me, but to no avail – it was a charade and she knew that I knew it.I'd cut to the chase. "You're damaged. Tell me about.
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