"Look, I know who you are! You are not here, not there!" What do you mean?" I asked as his Russian was not perfect, and I wasunsure what he was trying to say."All your life, you are trying to be someone, but you can't because youare a shaman!" He said, looking at my eyes, and my smile died.*** My upbringing, the conflictOne of my earliest childhood memories was playing outside with thegirls. I liked to play with girls. Some of the girls were older than Iwas, and at one point, they started to talk about pregnancy and havinga baby. I was too small to understand, but I sensed that it wassomething important."Mom, what it's like to have a baby?" I asked when coming home, and mymother offered some explanation that she seemed to be fit for my age."I want to have a baby too! When I grow up, I will be pregnant and willhave a baby!" Mother didn't reply to me, but the silence felt awkward,and I understood that I had said something wrong.Another early memory is of envying the girls' dresses and. Then after dropping her near her flat, I took the umbrella and went to my office.While returning I went directly my home and after changing my dress I came to return the umbrella to her flat. I pressed the calling bell and she opened the door. Wow man she was looking stunning with her nighty. It was a sleeveless nighty. I can’t believe this for a woman who is in her early 40’s.So when returning the umbrella she asked me for a cup of coffee and I admired the offer. Then she went into kitchen switching on the tv and I started switching another channels.During switching channels I found a new movie which is my favourite and I started watching that. Looking to my interest she asked me whether I have bought new tv in my new flat to which I said no.Then she told me to finish the movie before leaving her house. Thus we started chit chat about everything. In between this I came to know that his husband is a businessman and used to come home once in a month and she have a boy who is doing.
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