“You are not joking are you?” she asked. I shook my head. “Try it”.“I have seen it on porn, but never tried it on myself”, she said, with some blush on her face.“Try it, I can help you”, I said.She waited for a minute probably thinking about it and then she lifted her right breast in her hand. I asked her to bend her face down a bit to enable me to see if with some stretching, she could reach her nipple. She did and I thought she could do it. I held her head gently and pushed it down a bit more, and with the other hand helped her lift her breast further up with the nipple pointing upwards. There was just a few centimeters gap.“Let me do something” I said and taking her nipple between my finger and thumb twirled it a bit gently trying to engorge it further. A few seconds later, she tried again and the stub was in her mouth.“Now suckle yourself” I said smiling at her.She pulled at the nipple again and this time with a little more lift and stretching her head, the areola was inside her. If I wanted something, almost anything material, it could be mine - if I could bear the guilt of spending so much on pure selfish pleasure. The guilt lessened, actually, as I got used to having money. One day, towards the end of the American leg of the tour, I passed a pretty young hooker on Hollywood Boulevard, and it struck me. Men paid for sex all the time. Women must do to... It was ridiculous. I just needed to meet someone for some uncomplicated fun. But it doesn't happen like that on tour. I could possibly have induced Claire to share in my hotel room soliloquies, I know she's fascinated by what I might be doing, and she's an attractive woman, but I needed her for so many other things. I didn't want to change our relationship. I was exhausted, and yet restless. All the adulation I had been lapping up for months had suddenly stopped. Now I needed to feed the other creature inside me, the night creature, the sex-obsessed, fist-addicted slut inside the sweet, bohemian demure.
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