I look up and glance at him apologetically toexcuse my failure to respond. But Cesar fills in for me. "Those pills I grabbed up at the Pharmacia job were for our little chicahere. She uses them to grow her boobs and stay nice and girly. Isn't shesweet?" Oh, yeah, that's a sweet little mouth on that chica. Suck me good, babe.I haven't cum for days."Hector is a big man on the streets, but not in the pants. I can easilytake his full length into my mouth by tilting me head back slightly. Hisuncut tip barely tickles my palate, and my gag reflex never reallyengages. Hector is a breeze to blow. I feel confident and at ease, evenas Hector grows more histrionic and vigorous. In less than a minute, mymouth is suffused with an hors d'ouvre of precum. "Faster, bitch, faster." He slams my head against his belly, and grips myneck and head in his hands. I look up at him. His muscles are bulging,and sweat droplets are forming on his brow. One drops onto my cheek andruns down like a tear. He is. You hide behind what they want you to be: the real you can only come out behind closed doors. And closed eyes. In the dark, you thrive. In the light of day, you fade away, and your 'normal' self replaces the real you.Johnny shook his head as if he could dislodge this train of thought by doing so. It didn't really matter whether he understood how he had become the way he was. He was what he was, and nothing could change that. He had come to realize that he could find sex with men much easier then he could with women. Men were much more up front about what they wanted and willing to settle for what could be had in the here and now.Johnny was a reasonably intelligent person; he knew that the dream was a side effect of seeing his father in his casket at the funeral yesterday. The radio in his old caravan didn't work, so he had no distractions to keep his mind from dwelling on his dead father, and the relationship they had shared. Loving his father, and yet well aware that if his father.
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