“Upon which” continues the prosecutor “you take out a pistol and shot your wife, killing her”. “That’s correct” says the defendant. “Then my question to you is - why did you shoot your wife and not her lover?” asked the prosecutor. “It seemed easier” replied the defendant “than shooting a different man every day!”My wife came back from work yesterday and yelled at me “All my friends’ husbands have bought an original pink and brown Juicy handbag!” I replied with a wink “Okay love, but tonight you’ll have to provide some pink and brown for me”. I was astonished when she nodded in agreement. I had always dreamt of this moment and it was finally here and, without fail, I went upstairs that night, and was not disappointed. It was just as good as I had ever imagined. My very own snooker table!I’ve organized a charity night in aid of people who can’t reach orgasm, but don’t worry if you can’t come.Vodka and ice will ruin your kidneys. Rum and ice will ruin your liver. Whiskey and ice will. This guy had been fantasizing about me for weeks. I was pissed. Now, I’m not naive, I know guys do that, but to have it be on such a personal level. He was fantasizing about ME. When he had me dressed in red panties, what was he thinking? That I was confident, powerful, and aggressive? Or would he worship me with little kisses all over my neck and ears. Kissing my eyes, then my nose, brushing my lips, nibbling my chin, then trailing down my neck… God, it had been so long. Shaking my head, I thought I’d relax with a hot bath, that would calm me down. I filled the tub with my favorite bubble bath and slipped out of my clothes. Turning to look at myself in the mirror, I thought ‘Yeah, I can see why he fantasizes about me’. I laughed at my own joke as I slipped into the hot water. Yellow, what was he thinking about if I had yellow panties on? Impish, bright, bubbly? He probably wanted to wrestle me down to the ground, tickling me, pinching me, getting cheap feels of my butt and breasts.
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