She was in for a surprise on that one; the children had hardly reacted when I told them she was coming that day.Honestly, I had no idea how the day was going to go, but I feared things were not going to go quite as Miranda expected. I just hoped and prayed that there weren't going to be any fireworks. After giving Karen a look that I hope portrayed the frustration I felt with Miranda, I turned to face my ex-wife."Miranda this is what ... the third, no sorry, the fourth time you've bothered to come and see your children, in over three years." I replied, I suppose a little more sharply than I should have done under the circumstances; considering that I wanted to keep things as ... er ... as amicable as they could be. "it's a sunny day out there, and the children wanted to go play in the pool. I have no intention of keeping them locked up in the house waiting, just in case you might deign to actually show up this time. I can't count the times you've cancelled at the last minute." Well. I had fucked up again. This 'returning' is dangerous. Suddenly, my stomach tied itself in knots ... I felt ... loose ... my asshole clenched. I slipped the guitar in its plush case and stood ... one might say I waddled down the hall and to the bathroom ... Waddled is too slow but my guts wouldn't have withstood a run ... or even a 'trot.'To myself ... but aloud ... I mumbled, "Don't fart ... don't fart."The light was out ... the door was open. I said a silent thanks to what ever gods there be, dropped my shorts and sat ... with milliseconds to spare."David! ... Good Lord ... shut the door!" cried Grannie."I ... uhh ... can't."The veriest green fog rolled down the hall and crept into the living room."At ... least ... flush." I did ... UHH! ... Oh ... uhh." Another tidal wave hit my intestines...After the second cacophony of sounds echoed through the porcelain bowl, I heard the four women flee from the living room. The backdoor slammed. The bathroom has a window on the backyard. The.
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