"Since I prefer to remain in this kingdom - everyone I know is here - itwould have to be one of the first two choices. So, I shall accept yourkind offer, Sir, with the warning that your new lady may not be astractable or delicate as you might like." Good," Garret arose from his own seat and moved to face the young manwho was going to become his affianced lady. "I give you my heartfeltthanks for this." Don't bother," Derek grumbled half sourly. "It wasn't really fairputting the welfare of the whole kingdom up against my holding to a malerole that most people around me thought of as sadly lacking in the firstplace. But I won't hold that against you. Much." Well," Garret grinned a bit sheepishly, "You have the put upon poutdown fairly well already. I am sorry you feel that way, and won't holdyou to the agreement you just made if it is a real problem for you." I said I would do it," Derek grumbled again. "And I will. I just hopeno one finds out that I'm not really a girl, or that I don't. ‘There’s just this darkness. All around me, choking me. I don’t know how I’m alive… why I’m alive. I’m broken, Love, and I’m tired of fighting the darkness. And if you can’t join me from wherever you are… I have no choice…’ She blanked then, leached of all emotion, her words turning too soft and finally dying down. She slowly got to her feet and made her way to the bathroom. The packet of double edged razor blades lay open, three of the blades left. She had always preferred old-fashioned razors to the new sticks – said they had a certain charm. To choose this method of dying, would mean being close to her even as life seeped out of her. She carefully took one blade out and walked back to the window, to the light. She stared out into the night, wondering if what she was about to do was correct. It was definitely better than the nothingness that her life had become. It was better than the loneliness, the tears and the longing for what could never be again. ‘This is the only way,’.
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