Insect dots hung about the porch light. My eyes flew out of my head and looked around 360 degrees. Darkness had surrounded the porch. Yellow street lamps lent a wicked color to the black tarmac. It could have been a dream. Because when I dream of that moment, I remember the question that changed. It didn't matter what I was. I needed to know who I was. No, I needed to decide who I was. Then I remembered."Mind yourself child, or you'll grow up minding others!" That had been a dream. This was true, me, standing between the light and the dark afraid to go inside and afraid of what hunted out in the darkness. I had to grow up.I opened the door and stepped inside. Every light in the house blazed."Mother?" I asked loudly. I explored the house slowly."Mommie's in her room." Little Shell found me first. She turned the corner of the hallway and looked as if she had been left alone in the house."Where's Lynn?" In our room, sleeping." She pouted like the nine year old she was. "I'm hungry.". We used to shamelessly rest on couch from day to night and pull pranks on each other. Her parents trusted me blindly and I used to try living up to their expectations. So once, while she was sleeping/resting in my home, I “accidentally” spilled chilled water (with too many ice cubes) on her face. She was startled and woke up. As soon as she saw me I ran. I ran as fast as my legs could carry me. I knew my only mode of survival was in not getting caught. Finally, she caught me and stabbed her nails into my arm. I yelled on top of my voice and performed ‘kidney’ on her. ‘Kidney’ is actually a kind of attacking technique. In our neighborhood, we used to shout ‘Abey uski kidney nikaal le!’ and claw the stomach-abdomen-kidney-area which at first caused tickling but then slowly transformed into pain. Since I performed ‘kidney’ on her and her reflex action were better than mine, she kicked me in my groin. I laid down immediately and was wriggling in excruciating pain. Hearing all the.
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