By saying nothing, by avoiding the obvious, I might still have been clothed by something. Even if it were something you could see right through, a shimmering, if diaphanous nightie. Illusion, maybe? You wouldn't have to hurt me. That was the deal. Implied, as I understood it, anyway. If I were a good ?girl,? if I didn't give you a hard time, if I made you feel good.Okay, that's fair, I thought. You're giving me more of a chance than most people ever did. A chance to prove myself a girl, a good girl, a good girl good at giving pleasure. Let's see how well I can do; I, who wanted to make myself a girl.You ask me if I understand. My spaciness probably has you wondering if I'm here at all; if I'm maybe not in shock (maybe I am), or out on my feet from the smack-around. I'm so deep inside myself, simultaneously talking and listening to both sides of this dialectic, I can hardly blame you for thinking I'm not paying attention, for thinking there's something wrong with me.?Yes,? I say,. "I know you already said that if I fixed up the attic, I could move my bedroom up there, and I really want to be done before Vince gets home from summer camp. But it's really hot up there in the summer, so I was wondering if maybe I could use the storage room in the basement instead. It stays a whole lot cooler, and there's a bathroom down there, too. All the stuff that's stored downstairs can just as easily be stored upstairs." Let us think it over," his father told him. "We'll let you know after dinner."For Jerry, it was an agonizing twenty minutes. After they finished eating, he even voluntarily cleared the table, and put the dishes in the dishwasher, hoping that it help his case. When he was done, he sat back down at his place at the table, obviously waiting for his parent's decision."Give us a few minutes to talk about it Jerry," his father said, "we'll call you when we're ready to talk to you, OK?" OK Dad," he said, and shuffled off to his room to wait. It wasn't but a few.
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