11 Why do men die before their wives?Because they want to.Send this to a few good men who need a laugh and to the select few women who don't own a gun.These glorious insults are from an era before the English language becameboiled down to four-letter words.* A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."* "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."* "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr* "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill* "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow* "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." -William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).* "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas* "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." -. I bit my lower lip, thinking my rump didn’t look cute at all in the skirt. It bothered me for some reason.Why?That thought echoed through my mind. Why did I care so much? I rubbed my hands on my skirt as I headed down the stairs. All my way to my high school, all I could think about was how others saw me. Did they look at me and think, “That girl doesn’t have a great ass. I mean, look at what she’s wearing. If she had a cute tush, why wouldn’t she be showing it off? Instead, it’s like she’s trying to hide it?”That thought really bugged me. It had to be just my imagination. My skirt didn’t make my rump look unflattering. Right? I needed an opinion.I smiled when I saw my boyfriend, Nathan. He was waiting for me out front of the school, leaning against the brick wall. He was a tall guy with blond hair and blue eyes. He grinned as he pushed off from the wall. “Hey, cutie, how you doing?”“You ask that like we weren’t texting the entire way to school,” I told him. “You know I’m.
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