I haven’t seen my ex-wife in several years, but I’m pretty sure I could still recognize her, so I don’t think it’s her. Maybe she is a stranger who has inexplicably taken a liking to me, an attractive face in the crowd. Maybe I remind her of someone. Maybe I am a totally random choice. My therapist tells me this is the most likely possibility, though I am not so sure. Sometimes I think she isn’t even real. Why do I say that?Even though I've never heard her speak, other than her whispered urgency when she says, “Bend me over,” or “Fuck me now,” I know what her normal speaking voice sounds like. I know what her voices sound like in real life, while talking on the phone to her sister, say, or speaking to her husband. But how do I know she is married? And how do I know she has a sister?I've only seen flashes of her skin under her dress or from her blouse ripping suddenly open, yet I know exactly what every inch of skin looks like. I’m not just talking about her face or her breasts. I can. ’ ‘Neither had your father but look what happened. They don’t care about your guilt or innocence. Just that you’re Irish.’ ‘I’m not going. I have friends her,’ Jenny said defiantly. ‘Friends like Sean. He’s with the Ulsters. They’ll hang him.’ Reluctantly, she went. First a long train ride to Dublin, then a car at night to Wexfprd where money changed hands and we boarded a fishing boat for England. Ultimately we got to Liverpoole and boarded a ship bound for New York. Grandpa had some money in his pockets, but we had little else. The Jackson family stayed in a boarding house in the Harlem slums for a few days. Every day, grandpa went to the Western Union office to send telegrams to our relatives in Washington State asking for money. Eventually an uncle sent us train fare. Those were the horrible days of Jenny’s life. Those were the days of adjustment and loss. The days passed slowly and the memory of them would burn into her mind forever. Jenny was certain her mother had been right..
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