.. accepting you are responsible for your life and your choices. It's easier to just wallow in the pain and blame others. My hate was keeping me connected to him I guess. If I am brutally honest, it was a way to keep myself from going through the pain of finally letting go. I see that now. My tears over him turn to tears over myself. The picture that had taken up a permanent residence in my head fades. His cock fucking her blurs. Her squeals silence. All I see now is a picture of myself driving by his house looking for her car, checking his Instagram a million times, stalking her Facebook for any signs of them together. I finally only see myself and all the time I have wasted and I am embarrassed. My next move is I get in my car and just start driving ... to nowhere in particular. I jam my playlist and drive and drive and drive. My mind seems to clear with each passing mile. Somehow, by muscle memory I guess, I find myself in our driveway ... I mean his driveway. I will my body to. " He seemed to be rightly proud of that accomplishment."Very nice, you could always find a job doing that. I know there are way too few qualified machinist in the world." I said."Well something will come along I'm sure." he replied."I am as well. Chief, it was nice to have met you, but unfortunately I have a meeting this morning." I said. With that I walked away and felt stupid for it. He was definitely my kind of man, but I had learned not to rush into things.Jennifer had arranged the first meeting with Mike the older of the two cops. Along with Jen. I was going to be a participant in the interview. It was my formal introduction to Mike and it took place on his home turf. I drove to Jen's office where we got into her car and then drove to the Tryon Police Department.After the hellos were all passed back and forth we got down to business. "Do I need a lawyer?" Mike asked."Everyone needs a lawyer," Jennifer said. "If you like we can reschedule this for a time you have your lawyer.
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