" My heart was racing a million miles a minute, but I’m pretty sure I got it out without soundinglike a kid in a candy store. It was like a 15 minute drive to their place and I shit you not I must of smoked at least 4 cigarettes. Just as we're about there I start worrying about beingso nervous that I won't be able to get it up or that I'll bust a friggin' nut before I even get my shit inside one of them. Fortunately, I didn't have too much time to think. We get there and I follow them in to the apartment. Millie goes in first and heads straight down a hallway andout of sight. Carrie plays hostess for a moment and grabs a few beers out of the fridge, then shows me around for a minute...but never takes me down the hallway where Millie disappeared. She opens a closet, pulls out a towel and says "Takea shower in there, and we'll go do the same. We'llsee you in a minute." The entire time I'm in theshower I'm thinking "has it been long enough,can I get out now?!?!?!?" I get out, half dry. " Too late, little boy." She swung her arm violently away from my grasp. "You had your chance and you proved a fool. Don't touch me ever again." But Bess, you're my best friend," I cried as she walked away.Wanting by definition means not having. When what you can't have lives next door, wanting resembles obsession. I shivered inside everytime I came home from school passing her house or saw her in the hallway at school or worse--shared the same class. I stared at her bedroom window every afternoon and night and first thing in the morning. I acted like a complete fool."I heard what happened with Bess at school," said my older sister smugly."Fuck off," I said despondently."Mom!" What?" said Mom as unready to be motherly as ever."Joe's being an asshole!" Young lady," scolded my mother."He said worse. He said the F word!" What's going on Joe?" asked Mom trying."Bess ... isn't my friend anymore." Just as well," said Mom."What!" I screamed."Joe, they're ... trash. As long as you hung out.
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