”“What happened?”“I told her I didn’t really know what I wanted for the future, except in a general way, and that I wasn’t going to worry about it for a few years. And while I didn’t say it to her, the whole situation with church would probably be a serious source of conflict.”Not to mention that Jos and I were sleeping together again, but I wanted to avoid THAT discussion with Katy.“Because she’s not Orthodox?”“Yes, and I’m not sure I can make the kind of compromises she’d require. And yes, I know that sounds contradictory to what I said, but it is an important thing in the future. I’m not going to make an issue of it, but I’m also not planning to change what I do. Does that make sense?”“It does. You just be you, and see where things go.”“Exactly. And that’s OK with you?”“I told you I can’t even begin to think about the long-term stuff. If I wasn’t going to college, then maybe I’d think about it.”“Just promise me you won’t make any life decisions based on a future neither of us can. Alice took one look at me as I stumbled through the door and was there in an instant, her arms around me. ‘No need to ask how that went,’ she said, before exclaiming, ‘Sam, you’re soaked through!’ then, ‘Oh my darling, don’t!’ as I promptly burst into tears. ‘Everything’s going to be all right!’ ‘It isn’t!’ I wailed, letting her peel my coat from me, the tightness in my chest making it hard to breathe. ‘I’ve just made everything so much w-worse!’ She pulled me close again, encouraging me to sob out the whole sorry tale, puncturing my account every now and again with muttered invective. And when at last I was done, she kissed my forehead and steered me towards the comfy chairs outside the changing rooms. ‘Sit,’ she insisted in a voice that would brook no argument. ‘Let’s get you dried off a bit.’ ‘I’m okay,’ I croaked but she didn’t seem to hear, already en route to the kitchen. ‘Alice, don’t.’ I didn’t deserve her fussing over me, let alone her sympathy. Oh God, what had I done?.
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