‘Why do you do this to me? You know I don’t like you. You’re not my boyfriend! Why can’t you just leave me alone?’ He looked very hurt and I was instantly sorry. I wasn’t about to tell him that. ‘That’s something I’ve never been able to figure out, Livy,’ he said. ‘Why don’t you like me? You’re as sweet as an angel. You love everyone. You’re even nice to me and I bug you all the time. Why don’t you like me?’ ‘For one thing, you insist on calling me Livy and you know I hate it,’ I yelled. He grinned. ‘I just do it to pull your chain,’ he said. ‘Well, it pisses me off,’ I told him. ‘You’re just too perfect, Talbot. Everything about you is just perfect and that pisses me off, too. You just slide along, you never put any effort into anything and everything you touch turns to gold. You just affect me like nails on a chalkboard. Why won’t you leave me alone?’ ‘Too perfect?’ Talbot sort of snorted. ‘Does it help if I brush my hair backwards?’ He ran a hand through his mop of curls. It made. “You stay right here. Don’t move. I will come back and mount you without as much as a how do you do.”“Promises promises.” she said, some more drool dripping down her mouth.I turned around and jogged down the path leading to the road where I had parked my car. It took me eight minutes and I was about to unlock my car when the phone rang again. It was Sharad again.“Hey Rishi, I found the email. I had accidentally archived it. Sorry to bother you.”If he weren’t the CEO, I would have let loose a long stream of profanity right at that moment.“Oh cool. Do you need anything else?” I asked instead, relieved that at least I could.“Nope. Good night. Say hi to Urvashi for me. And sorry again.”“Good luck.”I hang up the phone delighted. Now I could go back instantly to my horny wife and mount her under the stars and the full moon.I started sprinting up the trail path when I remember the shorter steeper way from my c***dhood. While my parents lumbered up the trail, my brother and I would climb up.
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