"Lisa left me yesterday and . . . " We?re sorry for that Jack," Nadine said as she interrupted with a contemptuous smile, "but since you can?t use Lisa any more to hide behind, you should at least be honest with us. We all know it?s what you really want anyway.?"Huh?"I stared at her about as intelligently as the answer to her last comment had come out. I knew Nadine could be bitchy but this was beyond even her."Lisa told all of us about how you like to dress up and play ?Mommy? at home, Jackie dear."Speechless I stared at Nadine. Whatever was going on seemed to be pleasing to her. I glanced at Eileen who was watching the exchanged. She didn't seem surprised or angry.?It?s okay wanting to be a girl, Jackie. Yesterday the rest of us finally got to see you en femme. It seemed to bring out the real you, didn't it?" Nadine said smugly.I was still staring dumbly at Nadine when Eileen opened the door and walked inside. Was this ?Nadine being malicious? or another thing Lisa had done to me?. Paul had come into her small room back where she used to stay, back at John’s. He’d wrapped her in a blanket and carried her away. She remembered how she’d clung to him. She’d wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. She’d nestled her head under his chin. That was when she first noticed the Old Spice. It was his smell. Allyson couldn’t quite get back to sleep. She lay curled in the warmth of Paul’s big bed, wrapped under his big heavy quilt, her head on his pillow. She felt safe. She burrowed her head deeper in the pillow. She remembered when she was little the men at the foster homes all their own aromas. Some had that sickly sweet smell of deodorant over body odor. Others used those strong fruity smells, some used nothing and just stunk. John had been a fruity smell guy. One of the foster care men she remembered used Old Spice. She had liked him. She’d trusted him. He’d never looked at her in that smarmy way men had when they looked at girls, he’d never tried to touch her. Paul.
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