Days went dull after maid Anitha left work at our home. Somehow I managed to bring my concentration back to studies, but the urge of having sex and knowing more about it always remains somewhere in the back of my mind.I tried to understand the concept of sex, I tried repeating the act (hand job) Anitha used to give me , by myself, I.e. I started masturbating by the age of 10-11, without even knowing what masturbating was! It brought me close to the days I had spend with Anitha. At the age of 12-13 I secretly started reading magazines like Womensera, Manorama and Grehshobha which enhanced my knowledge of Sex and Masturbation, that was the time I realised what I was doing was perfectly normal.Now I started masturbating even more by watching models picture in magazines, item video songs of Bollywood, HBO Star Movies and FTV were other sources. I used to fantasise sex with aunties and di di’s of our locality, it used to be great.I was introduced to blue films when I was in class 7th,. .”I pushed his horse and kept walking, “if you are dead he would give me the company. I will fight with these men captain or you will not lead.”It was several moments before he spurred his horse and returned to the front. The men whispered and one raised his voice to sing. I knew I was courting trouble but after all these years they had let me out of the cage. When we made camp I unsaddled the horse and led him to the line with the others.I took my pack and started back and saw my father headed towards me. I set the pack down away from the neat line of tents and turned and waited. My father looked angry and when he reached me it was to slap me. I brushed his open hand up and away and stepped and punched. He gasped and went to a knee as I took his air.I slapped him, “if you ever try to touch me again I will kill you.”He looked at me with a white face and I turned my back and went to get the bedroll on my pack. He struggled to his feet and spun and walked away. I paused and listened to.
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