”“You mean you’ve never met your dad?” Tabatha asked.The screen went dark. Jake chuckled to himself, then went back upstairs. It was awfully quiet up there. Too quiet... There was water splashed all over the bathroom. There was no Béla and no Lisa anywhere. Béla’s clothes were in the bathtub, soaking wet. Evidently she’d teleported right out of them. Jake sighed, thinking, ‘No telling where they went... ‘Jake flipped the switch to clean the bathroom and went back downstairs. Wherever they went, they would be hungry when they got back. Their mental exercises always took a heavy toll on their metabolism. He went into the kitchen to decide what to fix for lunch. Sandwiches for us, and, hmm. What would Lisa like?They had recently discovered that Lisa liked potato soup. And not just any brand, either. It had to be Campbell’s. ‘She likes salty, lumpy, carbohydrate soup. Yuck!’They actually had some, so he put it on to heat. Ten minutes later, his girls were back. They were both naked, and. ” Usually, when he commits this sin, he returns at night with flowers or little, expensive gifts. At first, I thought it sweet. Now I am just sad, uneasy. For him, fucking me is something dirty; it requires a gift as an apology. It’s not his fault. But I feel now defiled; not by his stealthy little fuck in the morning but by his feeling guilty, by his conviction that sex is dirty and that I am unclean, soiled by sex and soiling him.”Helen told me the above only late in the year, with our parting drawing day by day closer. I was sorry that our so wonderful, sexually so fulfilled and rewarding affair would end. I was relieved that Erika had suspected nothing. I also believed that my affair with Helen had not changed our marital relationship for the worse. I had no wish to confess my trespass and inflict hurt.However, listening to Helen’s description of her marriage made me feel very uneasy about its future.At first, I had not taken Helen’s claim that Rilke’s Der Panther and my reading.
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