Finally, I gave her some money for her son’s clothing and dressed up little Alice to look just like a regular native boy going to a local Madrassah for religious training.I had already warned her not to speak English to me unless we were alone, and she thought it a fine game without really understanding the reason for it and not caring in the least just like any ten year old female with lost parents.Alice’s sexual vocabulary was extensive, but I doubted she understood half of what she was saying as the familiar words passed her innocent lips. I figured that there was plenty of time to relay to her that her parents were probably dead at the hands of the Taliban. I had worked with the Taliban before I knew they would literally eat this little girl up and her training would be quite harsh because she was a Western and a non-believer.I asked Alice if she had any other siblings, and she shook her head “no!”Then, she told me her daddy had gotten a divorce and her real mom had gone back to. I just can’t do it.’ He looks broken standing there in the rain. I broke Ben. All these years and I thought things were perfect and all it was was perfect for me. I feel so selfish, because even now I don’t want him to go. Can’t let him go. He can’t go. I stand and approach him. When he’s close I feel his warmth like a halo around him. And I need that warmth and I can’t imagine not having it. ‘I think I need you to kiss me again, Ben,’ I say softly, unable to look at him. I just stand close, sniffling. When I finally look up his eyes are hard and I’m terrified he’s already gone. ‘Please, Ben.’ He seems to blink something away and then his hands are cupping my face and his lips crush mine. This time I kiss back. It’s the kind of rain drenched, urgent kiss you only see in the movies. Being in it is all heart beating wildly, clothes sticking coldly, wet fingers growing icy, and body feeling like it can’t stay still for even a second because I just want more and more and more of this.
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